Somebody Else's Man Read online

  “Well, I guess you’re wondering what this meeting is all about?” Kathy said.

  “I have an idea,” I said.

  “You do—okay. Well, as you know, we are at the last stages of our transition. It has been difficult. Though we wanted to keep everyone, we can’t. However, we love the way you have been handling everything. Last night, the guest you handled was sent by corporate to test your management skills. You handled the situation in a professional manner. So, at this time we would like to offer you your current position with a salary increase as well as a place in our general management program.”

  I thought they were joking. Where were the cameras? But there weren’t any. I was being given a job that I wasn’t even sure I wanted. They were all smiles. I instantly accepted the position. It was something that I never really thought about, but too much of a great opportunity to pass up. I thanked Kathy and her boss. I was so happy I was getting promoted and not fired. I’ll do my job as long as it came with a bigger paycheck.

  CHAPTER 17

  I met Candice at the cemetery that our father was buried in. It was his birthday and we were supposed to be saying Happy Birthday. I didn’t feel exactly comfortable wishing him a happy birthday when he never wished me one. I knew he wasn’t alive, but I hadn’t had that close relationship that she’d had with him. But I took a deep breath anyway and followed her to Raymond Hawk’s plot. There were gray, chalky headstones in every direction. I was careful not to step on any. I started tearing up as soon as I saw his headstone. Candice walked over and kneeled down and whispered, “Happy birthday, Daddy. Daddy, it’s me, Candy,” as she placed flowers on his tombstone. It seemed like she said a prayer or something and then she became more lively with her conversation with our father. She began speaking to him like he was really with us.

  “I just wanted to let you know, Daddy, that Brandon is doing good. I’m doing good too! I’m starting medical school and I’m not going to let you down. I miss you, but I know you are in a better place. I know that and I forgive you. Look who I found, Daddy. My sister, Nicole. I know you didn’t mean to keep her away from us.” Candice tried to hold back tears, but she couldn’t, and neither could I. She grabbed my hand and continued on. “I know you would want all your children to be together. Remember you would always say blood is thicker than water? I never forgot that. I miss you so much and I’m going to continue to make you proud. I promise. I promise and I’m going to take care of Mommy for you as soon as I get out of school. I love you, Daddy, and I miss you.”

  I stood there with my eyes closed. God, this was hard, I thought. Why did I agree to come? I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t. I tried to clear my throat, preparing to speak. Then she rubbed my back and said it was okay, and asked if I needed privacy. I told her no. I needed her there to hold me up. I couldn’t muster any words to say. I just began crying uncontrollably and she kept saying, “It’s okay. Let it out.”

  I closed my eyes and I gained strength and finally the words began to come out. I said the words I never thought I would say. “Daddy, I forgive you. I was mad at you for a very long time, but I’m okay now. There were points in my life where I hated you, Dad. But I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t. I forgive you, Dad. Candice is right. She found me and we are never going to lose touch. We lost a lot of time, but we are going to make up for it. And I can’t wait to meet Ray. I heard he acts and looks just like you. So I’m going to get to know a piece of you. I’m not mad and I do forgive you. I finally forgive you. I’m not mad anymore. I love you.” I opened my eyes and said, “Daddy, rest in peace.” Then I stood there and said a silent prayer. We then both walked back to our cars and left.

  As I drove out of that cemetery, a sense of peace overcame me. I felt like I had the conversation I’d always wanted to have with my father.

  It’s been days since I talked to Candice. She said she was going to be bogged down with her summer semester. At first the big sis’s were killing me, but now I suddenly miss her. She has had such an impact on my life. I think her knocking on my door was one of the best things that ever happened to me. All these years I’ve been feeling incomplete and now I feel whole. Since our last conversation, I’ve been constantly thinking about my life. I just want a change, I want better for myself. I need to get things moving. I have this new opportunity at my job and now I have to get moving on other aspects of my life. I’ve evaluated every misstep I’ve made and they all had one common factor. The one common denominator of all my problems, worries, and troubles can all be linked to a man. Not having a home, a stupid scamming man. I allowed a dumb man to dupe me into believing he was going to leave his wife. He didn’t. I almost fell in love with another man, who was also fake. All men are the devil. They are stupid and I am done with them. Malcolm Walker can go to hell and so can Dondre Hill. I don’t feel like adding another name to the list of all the men I hate, so I think I am going to be celibate from here on out. I’m going to get into myself. I feel like I have to move, and I have to have my own. I’m too old to be wondering and hoping and waiting for something or someone to rescue me. I’m done with believing in that knight-in-shining-armor fairy tale. I’m going to figure out a way to get my life together. I have to, I don’t have a choice. What is my alternative…stay here and grow old in this back room? Hell, no. I’m going to have to save myself, because “Captain Save A Hoe” and his cavalry is not coming for me.

  My plan to get on my feet was to borrow money from my 401k and get a second job somewhere. If I could fix up my house, room by room, I should be able to move in by the end of the year. I decided I was going to hire several contractors for different areas in the house. They could see each other working in there and be competition for one another and they would know I meant business. Plus, the odds were against getting scammed by all of the contractors. I went to the Home Depot to get paint. I knew I couldn’t do anything major in the house, but I did know how to paint. It was a massive store. Like the size of an indoor football field. There were supplies and appliances everywhere, washers, dryers, fans, hammers, drills, saws, pesticides. I walked to the back of the store and saw plenty of handymen walking around. A few said hello. I ignored them all. I had enough with fix-it men.

  I went to the paint aisle and picked up a can of white paint. I had no idea if I needed flat or glossy for my walls. As I sat there and read the Glidden paint can, I heard a familiar voice ask, “Miss Lady. What you about to paint?” I turned and saw dusty Smokebreak from the job. He was standing, looking crazy as ever with a short friend.

  “I have a house. I’m going to try to paint.”

  “Really? We do a little bit of painting on the side. Matter fact, we do it all,” he said, smiling.

  “You do? Do you think you can look at a job for me?”

  “I could stop by and take a look at it for you. By the way, this my cousin and partner Pee Wee. He know how to do Sheetrock, electrical, and plumbing work and all of that.”

  “Really. How much you charge to put up some Sheetrock?”

  “We would have to look at it and then give you a price. But nothing much. Just give us the address. And we will come through tomorrow.”

  After Home Depot, I went to a furniture store to price furniture. It would be a while before I could afford any. But I wanted to get an idea of what was available. If I saw what was out there then maybe I could envision it sitting in my living room. Then that would get me hyped up so I could get my second job to pay for it. But I didn’t really care what was in there, because when that house was ready, I’d move in with an air mattress and a microwave and be ecstatic because it was mine.

  The next day Smokebreak and his cousin came up to my house in a car that was being held together by a bungee cord. Once I opened the door they began looking all around. I wasn’t going to say anything about a price. I knew they weren’t capable of completing an entire house, but if I could get them to just do the minor things, I was sure I could save some money. Plus, I told them what happened to me before, so they m
ight feel sorry for me.

  As Smokebreak and his cousin walked around examining the place, I saw Dre’s telephone number come across my screen again. He would not give up and that was not a good thing.

  “Yes,” I said, irritated.

  “So, this is still your number?”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “So, every time you saw my number come across the screen, you just ignored me and didn’t pick up your phone?” I couldn’t help but laugh. He knew exactly what I was doing.

  “I told you I wasn’t being bothered with you.”

  “That’s not right. That really wasn’t my fault.”

  I laughed a little more, then said, “Listen, it was good talking to you, but I’m in the middle of getting some work done to my house. So I’ll try to call you.”

  “Oh, okay, well I don’t want to hold you up,” Dre said as I ended our conversation.

  I turned my attention back to Smokebreak and his cousin. “So, when do you want to get started? I can give you a deposit now and the rest upon completion.”

  “No, since you said what happened to you before, just buy the material. We won’t take payment until we complete the first half. We can start next week.”

  “Thanks, we’ll talk.” We walked out the house. I pulled the door closed and began putting the padlock back on. I came down the steps and as I was crossing the street to get to my car, a speeding car almost hit me. I jumped back on the pavement. Then the car stopped right in front of me and the window went down. It was Dre. He looked up at Smokebreak and his cousin walking down the steps.

  “So, that’s your boyfriend now?” Dre asked.

  “No, does he look like my type?” I said, looking at how smokerish and raggedy Smokebreak looked.

  Smokebreak looked back at me and asked was I okay. I told him I was and he said, “Good night, Miss Lady.”

  “You got a minute?” Dre asked.

  “No, I have to get up early in the morning. And the last time I spent time with you, all my car windows were knocked out.”

  He pulled over and stepped out of his running car. “I said I was sorry, and now you going to hold it against me forever?” I looked straight ahead, my arms crossed. I couldn’t look at him as he spoke because if I did I might start to believe everything he was saying. He placed his left hand on my right and began stroking it up and down. “I didn’t know she would go off like that. Me and my children’s mom made a clean break. Trust, there is not going to be any more breaking out windows. We broke up a long time ago, but she is still a little childish. But believe me, I had a serious conversation with her and it’s not going to happen again. She’s even moving out of the city and everything. I was really getting into you and I want to finish what we started.”

  I still wasn’t convinced. “Let me think about it.”

  “Think about it? How about this, don’t think about it. Just answer the phone the next time I call,” he said.

  I nodded yeah to him, and that was enough of an answer for him to get back in his car and pull off.

  No sooner than I made it home, my phone chirped with a text message from Dre:

  I MEANT EVERY WORD I SAID. I WANT YOU. I NEED YOU AND WANT TO BE THE MAN YOU NEED. CALL ME ON YOUR WAY TO WORK TOMORROW.

  I called Dre on my commute to work the next morning, as he asked. Once I dialed him, I regretted it. He would not stop begging me to meet him for dinner in Center City. He said he wanted to take me to this special place. I didn’t know what to expect. So I agreed and needless to say, was a little disappointed when we pulled into the valet parking at the Hyatt hotel. Were we just getting a room? I didn’t even say I liked him again and he was getting a room. Not good at all. It was going to take more than a hotel room to get me back.

  We walked into the historic Bellevue Hyatt hotel. He smiled as he pressed the elevator up. I gave a half grin. I was about to call him out like, how dare you? But I waited, and I’m glad I did because I was pleasantly surprised when we landed on the nineteenth floor at this amazing restaurant. The place was shaped like a globe. The ceilings were high and in circular domes. From each table you had a perfect view of the city. It was very fancy, the kind of restaurant where dinner is presented to you as artwork, with green pieces of things you won’t eat and with brown squiggly lines for decoration.

  Dre gave the hostess our name and she picked up two menus and led us to a table. A white square candle softly illuminated the table. As soon as we were seated the waiter came over, dressed in a black-and-white suit. He introduced himself and read off the wine list. I sat across from Dre in awe. I hoped my face wasn’t revealing how impressed I was.

  “I missed you so much,” Dre said when the waiter left. He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. He kissed it and then held on to it, caressing it. “You know, now that I got you back, I’m not going to let you go this time.”

  “Who says you have me back? I’m not back with you.”

  “Yes, you are. You know, I felt like I wasn’t going to possibly get you back and that scared me.”

  “How you think I felt when I came to the door and saw my car? I can laugh now, but that was crazy.” Now that like a month had passed, we were able to joke about my windows being smashed. The next two hours we were served a four-course meal and got caught up on one another’s life. I told Dre about the promotion and he discussed trying to get full custody of his children.

  After dinner we held hands and walked through the festive nightlife scene. As we walked, Dre began singing Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together,” off key. I put my hand over his mouth, giggling. His voice was offending my ears and disrespecting the song.

  “I’m not amused.”

  “You didn’t miss me a little?” he said, pulling me face-to-face.

  “No.”

  “Nikki, I missed you so much it hurt.”

  “You missed me, yeah right. What you miss about me?”

  “I missed your friendship. I missed hearing your voice, holding you and having you in my life.”

  “You did,” I said, not knowing what else to say. Dre answered that perfectly. How could I respond to an answer like that? I stood silent as Dre looked me in the eyes and said, “Let’s try it all again. Really try, no games.” And I guess I said yes because I ended up at Dre’s house after our long walk.

  We both missed each other and didn’t take any time undressing. I kissed him, nonstop, he was so energized. Before he had fully made his way into my body, I felt a little jerk and then heard him take one big gasp.

  “You didn’t!” I exclaimed softly.

  “I did,” he said, embarrassed. “Hold up, let me get myself together. It’s just I’m so excited.” Dre went and showered and we started all over. I kissed him softly on his navel. Then on his thigh. I let my next kiss land right in his warm groin area. My wet kisses began to revitalize him. From all my effort he rose in strength and size. My insides longed for him. He slowly placed himself in me. His first few movements inside me were a little rough. It was a friction that felt so good. Slowly he broke through my tight interior walls. After several minutes of pleasure, Dre flipped positions with me. I got on top of him and wrapped my legs around his body in a diamond shape. Then Dre picked me up off the bed and held my body against the wall. I kept sliding up and down, but I held on as tight as I could. Dre moaned. “I just might wife you. You hear me?” he asked as I acted like I didn’t hear what he said. Then he said it again.

  I whispered back, “You going to wife me? How about if I don’t want to marry you?”

  “I don’t think you are going to have a choice. I’m serious. When we were apart I missed you so much.” For the rest of the night our bodies got reacquainted and when it was over I looked up at his ceiling and prayed to God, Please don’t let him hurt me.

  CHAPTER 18

  I read somewhere that when a man is ready, you will know it. He won’t have to say anything—his actions will speak volumes. And now I knew exactly what that meant. By the following week, we
were officially together, even though I wasn’t sure if we were really together the first time. It felt so good, so happy, like every day was Dre-day and I was waking up in Loveland. When I looked in Dre’s eyes, I just saw and felt love. He was all mine. He didn’t hold back anything. Sometimes he would call me and say I was on his mind and he needed to hear my voice. I think the biggest thing was the R-E-S-P-E-C-T Dre had for me. I approached this relationship totally different from when I was with Malcolm. When I cut it off, Dre realized what he was missing. He cared about me and my needs. There were times when I caught him watching me when he thought I was asleep. And I just could tell he genuinely cared about my total well-being.

  Dre told me all the time he was falling in love with me. And I had feelings for him, too. As a matter of fact, I knew I was falling in love with him! It was hard not to. He said and did all the right things. He started on my house last week and I didn’t have to do or say anything. He called me and said, “Meet me at Lowe’s.” Once I met up with him, he told me to pick out my cabinets for my kitchen. Then we both decided on Bella hardwood floors throughout the entire house and ceiling track lights. It was costly, but Dre was fixing it and he didn’t ask me to give him any money toward anything.

  Every day when we came in from work, we showered, talked about our day, ate dinner, and then just held each other all night, watching movies. In the morning I went home to change clothes and then we’d do it again. The do it again part was about to happen again. I looked over at the alarm clock that read five fifty-eight. The sun was about to rise and it was time for me to go home and get ready for work. I slipped out of Dre’s arms because I didn’t want to wake him up. He jumped up anyway and said, “What time is it?”